Why the Best Pastors Are the Best Networked

With the brief tour of the underwhelming front office completed, Florence—our office admin—opened my office door and welcomed me into my own space. Two empty bookshelves, a desk, a swivel chair, and that's about it. Well, besides the mail that had already been delivered. A simple postcard with two words:

"Join Us."

My first day as Youth Pastor at Melrose Community Church. Fresh out of college, excited about the role—and absolutely no idea what to do next.

At some point that day, I got a call from Kirk Petersen, the Youth Pastor at Redeemer Christian just across town. Kirk asked if I'd seen the postcard and filled me in on the details — a monthly breakfast for local youth workers at a nearby greasy spoon. I played it cool.

"Things are pretty busy, I'll see if I can make it."

I had nothing else to do. I went.

I don't remember the specific conversations from that first breakfast. I remember the laughter. I remember the bacon. And I remember that it mattered. Being connected outside of my own context mattered. Over the months and years that followed, those people became more than a resource—they became a refuge.

I'm still friends with Kirk today.

More Than a Resource

Here's what I didn't fully understand at the time: Kirk wasn't calling because he sensed I was struggling. He called because he already knew something it would take me years to fully appreciate—that the best ministry leaders aren't just well-prepared, gifted, or called. They're connected. Intentionally, consistently, relationally connected to other leaders who sharpen them, challenge them, and remind them why they do what they do.

That's not a rescue strategy. That's a growth strategy.

When I eventually moved from Oregon to Washington, one of my first priorities was finding the local network. Not because I was in trouble — but because I'd learned that a strong network doesn't just catch you when you fall. It raises your ceiling. Through 30+ years in ministry—church and parachurch—networking has remained a constant. Whether it's been a local café, intentional gatherings at national conferences, or joining a cohort, I am a stronger leader because I have a web of support. A web where I've gleaned from others, and where I've had the privilege of pouring back in.

That two-way exchange is the thing most people miss about networking. It's not a transaction. It's not a safety net. It's an ecosystem—and healthy leaders build healthy ecosystems around them.

Think about it this way: the most elite athletes in the world still have coaches. Not because they're broken, but because they refuse to plateau. The best leaders in any field seek out peers who push them further than they'd push themselves. Pastoral ministry is no different. The question was never "are you struggling enough to need community?" The question is, "Are you serious enough about growth to pursue it?"

I'm currently wrapping up my 7th Cohort. And I can tell you without hesitation: there isn't a week that goes by that I'm not still in conversation with someone from one of those groups. These aren't struggling pastors who found a lifeline—these are good pastors who got better together.

The Invitation

I'm about to step into the next Cohort offered by The Authentic Pastor, and I'm genuinely excited to begin relationships with a new group of leaders who will become—I'm confident of this—friends, resources, and refuge.

So let me ask you these questions: Are you networked? Are you connecting with pastors in your local community? With leaders outside your context? Maybe you are—and that's fantastic. But is it intentional? Is it consistent? Is it pushing you to grow?

If you're ready for something more structured, more purposeful, I'd love to follow in Kirk's footsteps and extend the same invitation he extended to me.

"Join us."

Applications are open for our next TAP Cohort. Whether you're thriving or just surviving, if you're hungry to go further, there's a seat at the table.

And yes, there will be bacon.

About the Author

Brian Aaby has spent 30+ years in church and parachurch ministry as a youth pastor, consultant, speaker, author, and coach. He serves as the Chief Strategist at The Authentic Pastor in addition to coaching and consulting for TAP.