Why Leadership Conferences Fail Pastors

I got up to use the bathroom at 3 AM and saw my 8 AM flight to Asheville was delayed two hours. Great. That’s going to mess up my day. When my alarm went off, I had some time to kill, so I checked my email to make sure there were no more surprises—and there it was—the catalyst for this article. So as I sit on this flight to North Carolina to spend three days with some incredible pastors, I figured I’d go off a little (no filter) about what’s really killing pastors.

Buckle up.

• • •

Somebody sent me an email this morning listing the “Top 10 Church Leadership Conferences for 2025.”

I clicked.

I already knew what I’d find. But I had to see it for myself.

And there it was—the same tired list of church growth, leadership, and strategy conferences that promise to help pastors “lead better” and “grow bigger.”

I sat there staring at the screen and shaking my head.

Because I know what’s happening behind closed doors. I know the private conversations pastors are having after the crowd is gone. After the last breakout session. After they get home—and nothing actually changes.

I know because I’ve had those conversations. 

Pastors who are leading growing churches but barely holding their marriages together. Pastors who are respected on stage but feel completely alone in real life. Pastors who are burned out, exhausted, and secretly wondering if ministry is even worth it anymore.

This is why so many pastors are quitting. It’s why so many are running on fumes.

And another leadership conference isn't going to fix it.

The Leadership Conference Lie

Every conference is about doing more.

Grow your church. Lead stronger. Expand your influence. Multiply.

But you know what’s never on the main stage?

How to heal from burnout. How to stop performing for approval. How to build real relationships that don’t revolve around church growth. How to stay in ministry without destroying yourself.

Somewhere buried in a breakout session there might be a seminar about your well-being. But it won’t be the headline event. Are the exceptions? Sometimes. But not enough.

Why? Because no one’s going to stand up and tell you how they blew their marriage chasing church growth. And more importantly—that’s never going to put butts in conference seats.

So we keep selling solutions that are actually the cause of the problem.

And what's worse? Down deep we know it.

If More Leadership Training Was the Answer, We Wouldn’t Be Here

If better leadership strategies were the answer, we wouldn’t have pastors quitting in record numbers.

• We wouldn’t have pastors silently suffering in marriages that feel like two strangers raising kids.
• We wouldn’t have pastors leading churches full of people but feeling completely alone.
• We wouldn’t have pastors burning out, questioning their calling, and wondering why all this “growth” feels so empty.

But we do.

Because leadership development without personal well-being is just a faster road to burnout.

And I get it.

I spent years thinking that if I could just lead better, plan better, execute better—then maybe I wouldn’t feel so much pressure. Maybe I wouldn’t be stretched so thin. Maybe I wouldn’t be carrying the weight of the world on my back.

It doesn’t work.

Because ministry was never meant to be a pressure cooker of unrealistic expectations.

And yet, that’s exactly what so many pastors are living under.

What You Can Do About It Right Now

If you’re feeling the weight of it all—the pressure to perform, the loneliness, the exhaustion—you don’t have to keep carrying it alone. But here’s the truth: no one is going to change this for you.

You have to make the decision to stop chasing a version of ministry that’s draining the life out of you.

You have to step off the treadmill and start building a life and ministry that’s actually sustainable.

And that starts with who you surround yourself with.

Because you weren’t meant to figure this out alone.

You need a space where you can be brutally honest about what’s actually happening in your life and leadership. You need people who will challenge you, call you out, and remind you that your worth isn’t tied to your church’s success.

That’s what The Authentic Pastor Cohorts are for.

If You’re Ready for Something Different, There’s a Seat for You.

We’ve built something different—a space where you don’t have to prove yourself, where you don’t have to perform, where you can finally talk about what’s real. No hype. No gimmicks. Just real pastors having real conversations about what it takes to stay in this for the long haul. If that’s what you’re looking for, let’s talk.

P.S. You’re Not Crazy for Feeling This Way

I know how this feels because I’ve lived it. And I also know that it doesn’t have to be this way. If this hit home, if you’re nodding your head, if you’re tired of repeating the same cycle—I want you to do something about it. Don’t push this off. Don’t stay stuck. Take a step toward something better. Check out TAP Cohorts here. ◼︎

Tim Eldred has spent over 35 years in pastoral ministry and coaches pastors and churches who are ready to move beyond merely surviving. He founded The Authentic Pastor to help ministry leaders find freedom from the pressures and systems that wear them down.